Senior Year

Hello!

I'm back to post from another hiatus! My summer is incredibly busy and my friend Julia asked me to update the blog, so this post is mostly to tell her what's been going on over the summer. And also to say HAPPY BELATED 17TH BIRTHDAY!!! I didn't forget, I actually had school that week. Our school started a week earlier than all the other school's in conference (August 25th to be exact).

But let me start off telling you about what happened after the end of junior year. I managed to get a job at the Walgreens by my house and I love my coworkers. I have learned to deal with all different kinds of people in all different stages of life. I'm not going into too much detail here because some things shouldn't be said online. I also got my driver's license this summer and barely managed to pass the exam, but the guy I was testing with must have noticed my extreme panic and taken a bit of pity on me. I lost all 25 points you could "play" with, but I have my license, and now I'm so much more relaxed driving all on my own and what not. I still can get terrible anxiety driving, but it's super convenient for me (other than the outrageous price for gas).

I also was selected to go on a trip through my school called the National Adventure Trip, where we took the train out to Colorado and camped, backpacked, and hiked throughout the Rockies. It was an amazing trip and I was completely blown away by the whole scenery! I will type up my journal on a later date to tell you all the details! But we spent a week out there and it was fantastic, despite the fact I had trouble breathing because we were up between 8,000-13,500 feet above sea level. Yes, I climbed a 13,000 some foot mountain and didn't die.

I was actually really depressed after coming home for a week or so. I also strained a lot of muscles and managed to get some micro-tears in my IT band and hip muscles. When tennis season started in August (about three weeks after coming back) I realized that the muscles would tense up while working and try to shift my knee cap, so practically the entire season I've had to wear a borrowed knee brace. This tennis season has been the worst of all of them, and I'm really disappointed because senior year is supposed to be the best year. Oh well.

Otherwise, my schedule for school goes as follows:
A Day:
1. AP Studio Art
2. AP Statistics
3. Graphic Arts
4. Dramatic Literature

B Day:
1. Model United Nations
2. AP Literature
3. Construction & Home Improvement
4. Mandarin Chinese 4

Also...I have some interesting news that may or may not surprise you. My best friend and I have kind of made out, but we don't know if we really want a relationship right now, so it's kind of interesting, but I don't mind. I'm sure, Julia, you can figure out who this is...
To say she has changed is long beneath an understatement. But she's still as amazing as ever. :3
Otherwise, that's mostly my life and if you want to know anymore (Julia), feel free to talk to me whenever! <3

PS: I also forgot to mention that I have an extreme obsession with the show BBC Sherlock and all the actors in it to the point of unhealthiness. Hailey and I also got into the anime Soul Eater, and I'm still getting into Death Note while Hailey is probably completely gone. XD Otherwise, I'm still fangirling over British youtubers and still want to create a youtube channel, but honestly, I don't know what I would talk about. XD

This poor blog

It's been completely abandoned due to the incredible amounts of fangirling and schoolwork that has come to possess my life and I apologize. I also joined drama, which is amazing, but is eating up so much of my time. I've already made some great friends and I got invited to join the unofficial "poetry club" and if you want to know a secret, I'm basically a poetry nerd. That and I'm the only girl in the group thus far. I'm trying to get some friends to join so I'm not awkwardly writing emotional crap. So wish me luck in my endeavors and I wish you the best for now! Until next time, my dears. <3

I JUST REALIZED...

I just made body peace.

You know, like, I've kind of accepted my insecurities about my body. Which, is BIG. For a girl.

I'm going to tell the story now, it's a bit weird, but you know, not scary.

I was literally just standing in my bathroom. I've had a rough day. Didn't get much sleep last night, I've been hungry for no reason all day and have not been able to satisfy this eating machine in my stomach. I babysat twins who hit their terrible three's for seven hours today and one wouldn't go down for her nap because of the thunderstorm so after I had run out in the middle of the storm to get the dogs, I basically held her in my arms trying to comfort her until her sister woke up and I realized, I was not getting a usual hour to eat and gain my energy back. Then I've come home and been doing homework and filling out my application for National Honors Society.

But I'm diverting from the topic. Anyway, after this stressful day, my hair is falling out of its braid, there's a bunch of curled friz (like the strands curl, yet they're frizzy), I need a shower by tomorrow morning, my acne has gotten out of hand, and I still have awkward tan lines from tennis. Overall, I look like I'm a bum.

So I was standing in front of the mirror for awhile, just looking over myself and kind of just said to myself, "You know what, you don't actually look that bad."
I probably don't look THAT bad, but it's bad.
Then I proceeded to do the thing where I turn so my side is facing the mirror.
I then straightened my shoulders and back and looked at my belly (without sucking it in because I was like, "you've gotta admit your real weight") and I literally thought, "Damn! You lost your tummy! You actually look thin!"

I'm not thin. XD I have at least an inch of fat and skin over my abs (and I do often use the quote, "I love my abs so much I keep a layer of fat over them to protect them."). I'm pretty sure tennis workouts have caused some of my pouchiness to go down and the fact I've been eating less wheat/glutton.

And the acne...well, I was looking past that, like it didn't matter.

And I'm pretty dang sure, I've just achieved body peace with myself. HOLY SHIZ.

Uh...yeah, that's kind of all I had to share.

IT'S A BIG MOMENT FOR ME OKAY DON'T JUDGE ME!!!! I FEEL ACCOMPLISHED.

Okay, love you guys! Bye!

XOXOX

Two Days of Exams...OVER!!!!

Not really, I'm still sitting in my last exam for day two. Class: Principles of Engineering (POE).
WE FINISHED OUR GROUP PRESENTATIONS. AND I GOT A B+!!!!!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

My first day of exams consisted of Chemistry (yeah, I failed), Health (she still hasn't put in shit), and Honors English which consisted of me withering on the ground in pain from eating too much, looking at other peoples projects, beating my friend James up, and having people be pissed at me because my project was WAY cool and I spent seven FREAKING hours painting it!!! I was up until one in the morning and had to get my mom to help!
Luckily she likes art so she wasn't complaining.
But my teacher wants to keep it and mount it to the wall so I assume that's a good thing (considering it's gigantic)!
And all my friends called the poem I wrote "Creepy". Thanks guys.
"It's a good kind of creepy!"
Yeah, mhm.

Then today I took my math exam and got a B+!!!!!!!! My numeric dyslexia did not completely fail me!!!!
Then there was Chinese 2 where I got an A- and I couldn't remember a few words. And I finished our family poster like two weeks before (it was due today) so I sat and snapchatted a friend in Connecticut and playing candy crush and texting a friend about what we were going to do for lunch.
We ended up getting a ride from her dad to The Chocolate Factory to get our lunch and then he drove us back to school where we ate in the library with another friend. That was so much better compared to the day before where we walked all the way there and back after eating (mind you I was wearing horrible flip flops and my feet are STILL in pain).
Then I'm in the class I'm in now.

So tomorrow I have my WHAP presentation (and hopefully pie) and then my gym exam (which is running the pacer...FAIL).
I have to go turn in this stupid school laptop soon.
Then go remind Dougie he needs to bring our class pie tomorrow.
Then go pick up my bin for the WAT trip along with the locker shelves (the only remaining items in my locker).


BYE MY LOVELIES!!!!

Wanna hear something funny??? hurhurhur

I'M STILL IN SCHOOL!!!!

This is another reason to dislike my school. XD Oh well.
Next week is final exam week!
First day: Chemistry-we get a huge problem we have to solve that involves everything we ever learned in chemistry, and then thirty question on CRS (College Readiness Skills). Health- I take a written portion and turn in my "Behavior Modification" plan (which is about 90% done) with sources. Then Honers English with a themed gallery walk (everybody chooses a theme, chooses poems around that theme and writes one and it's going to be cool). My idea for my theme is so amazing and our teacher said whoever has the coolest project (will be determined by vote) automatically gets a perfect grade. Yeah, if this project turns out as cool as I plan it to be, and I don't get picked, I might just have a heart palpitation. Seriously. XD

Second day: Algebra 2 (I think this is self-explanatory). Then we have Chinese 2-we have to write the pinyin and tone and meaning of the characters in English and then I think we're going to have a food party and be all sad because our teacher is leaving. :'(  And finally there will be Principles of Engineering-we make a presentation on our ballistic/kinematic device we created for our final unit and that we got to shoot off today.
^^To explain the above statement, we went out by this place where you enter the auditorium but also connects to the cafeteria and my teacher had set up this "battlefield" where we used our catapults to hit cardboard ships. We dressed up as pirates (and the people at lunch found this EXTREMELY amusing) and were split into teams and tried to take down each others ships!

Third and final day of exams: Gym (pacer test baby!). Then AP World History where we give a 10-15 minute presentation on a time period we wish we could visit.

So if you can't tell, there's not so much studying as there are projects!!! I'm pretty grateful for this, but at the same time, I'm looking at all my assignments listed out in front of me and am just like, "Wtf do I do????"

Ah the dilemma's of a sophomore in high school!








I gave up. I'm listening to Lucifer (SHINee) and am writing my novel..

Happy Fifth Anniversary SHINee!!!

Five years ago my favorite band in the entire world debuted.

They will likely never see this, but I still have to do it.

One year ago I was going through a rough patch. I felt like I was in a hole and I felt alone and it was scary. That year ago, I randomly found Ring Ding Dong. After that it went to Lucifer. Then Sherlock. And then it got to the point where I bought as many albums as possible, and it was the only thing I listened too. I became determined to learn the dances, the lyrics, and I became a fan of SHINee.

While I probably will never be the biggest fan I still love every guy in that group. Onew, Jonghyun, Key, Minho, and Taemin. They've each given me something different.

Onew inspired me to be a caring person, someone people could look up to, but he made me feel like my shyness wasn't a bad thing. He reminds me how to be grounded, he reminds me that trying hard always brings results.

Jonghyun inspired me to embrace the funkiness inside of me, to make me want to go to Japan even more, and to really appreciate those who love you and those places where some of the greatest memories are made.

Key inspired me to embrace my uniqueness in every way possible. While I'm still shy about how I dress and how I look, he also said, "My dream isn't to become the best, it's to become someone I'm not ashamed of."
Key, I'm trying to live by that quote and be someone I'm not ashamed of. :) Honestly, you've taught me a lot about myself. Thank you.

Taemin inspired me to go skydiving even more. He's the baby of the band as I am the baby of my own family. His big jump to independence (or jumping out of the helicopter) inspires me to take risks in life, and he's the proof that those risks can be worth it-you are worth being able to grow.

Minho...inspired me to embrace the tomboy within. He inspired my artistic side even more.  He made me like rap. XD Minho's competitive side is a lot like mine, and knowing that there are others like me out there really helps me not feel so outcasted when I get competitive. Because I'm embracing that competitiveness, I'm going for varsity on my tennis team this year-I'm giving everything I've got. I'm now more determined than ever to start making videos and embracing photography and developing my own style and showing it to the world. And I'm certainly trying to learn to rap Korean and I don't even know the language...but it's a fun challenge.

I'm sure there are other things they've inspired me to do (like write songs...) and the such that isn't coming to me right now, but I've had other bands I've loved too, but this particular band has something about them that is just peculiar. I think it's because their personalities are so diverse, they have concepts like honor and respect, and the way they incorporate multiple cultures into their videos really inspires me like no other band before.

So overall, this is really just me praising a band who helped me embrace things I was to scared or to shy to embrace before, all while keeping me a modest person. For that I'm eternally grateful.

SHINee FIGHTING!!!!
<3

WHAP IS OVER!!!!

I took the exam yesterday and it is now over with! I think I did pretty good on the multiple choice, no idea on the essays (the topics sucked-they weren't fun at all, like the others).

And it's the day after and I've lost my voice over the course of one night. All because of a stupid sore throat that appeared out of no where. It's probably just allergies from having to much wheat and dairy at the same time. *cough cough* Our school's disgusting mac and cheese.
See, I'm bound to forget something important on a day like a big exam/test, and yesterday it was this AMAZING lunch I had prepared, and I forgot it so I had to buy crappy school lunch. I barely ate anything because I can't seem to stomach certain foods ever since we found worms in the school's corn and then heard "That's normal," from the lunch ladies.
Yeah, I really can't stomach things like that.

I really want my mom to do acupuncture so my sore throat will go away.

I don't know how I'm going to do anything today in class. If I'm supposed to answer anything I will have to type it because I can't talk one bit. I can't even hear myself if I try.

I'm just going to continue listening to SHINee's Evil, my new jam. Don't ask me, the lyrics are kind of just amazing to me.

A sticky night with black fog, a dark night where you can’t see anything
I hold onto the thing that touches my hand
But it tightens its weight on me, that crazy existence

(I’m out of my mind)

I breathe it in from right underneath my chin (breathe it in)
My heart srunches up at the tip of my hand (my heart)

It comes to me like a poisonous snake and silently bites me
It comes to me like a poisonous snake and silently bites me

It bites me, swallows me, melts me, spits me out and tortures me again

Evil, Evil, like a criminal in my mind
Evil, Evil, as if the terminator came
Evil, will I be able to endure this night?
Evil, Evil, a dream that is too cruel is born

My cold sweat quickly brings out the goosebumps (goosebumps)
My dried lips are cracked even more (cracked)

Just open your eyes, pay attention, it’s dangerous
Just open your eyes, pay attention, it’s dangerous

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Oh, it’s already spread inside of me, in my blood

It bites me, swallows me, melts me, spits me out and tortures me again

Evil, Evil, like a criminal in my mind
Evil, Evil, as if the terminator came
Evil, will I be able to endure this night?
Evil, Evil, a dream that is too cruel is born

A sticky night with black fog, a dark night where you can’t see anything
I hold onto the thing that touches my hand
But it tightens its weight on me, that crazy existence

If there are no issues, then go away so I can’t see you
I won’t catch you
What you gonna do What you gonna
If there are no issues, then go away so I can’t see you
I won’t catch you even if I die
(If there are no issues, piss off
I won’t fall asleep even if I die)

Take me out of here, take me out, take me out, take me out

Evil, Evil, like a criminal in my mind
Evil, Evil, as if the terminator came
Evil, will I be able to endure this night?
Evil, Evil, a dream that is too cruel is born

A dream that is too cruel is born E-E-E-E-E-E-Evil

Evil, Evil, like a criminal in my mind
Evil, Evil, as if the terminator came
Evil, will I be able to endure this night?
Evil, Evil, a dream that is too cruel is born

This nightmare tightens around me on this dark night
I can’t fall asleep

I like the fact I can match the beat of the music and the rhythm of the Korean lyrics to the English lyrics.

I even started making up a dance to this song. I've become obsessed.... Oh well!

Anybody have a copy of The Fault in Our Stars they'd be willing to let me borrow? Just curious 'cause I want to read it but I'm waiting for a call to see if I got a job.

I'll probably call them when my voice comes back because I already did the drug test Monday. I really want money. I decided I was going to put some money away for savings and then buy two or three SHINee shirts as a reward.

Our WHAP final exam is really cool! We have to write an analysis on a movie that can be foreign, but it can't be a big movie. And it has to be on a historical event and can't be rated R. Darn. XD

That and we have to pick a time period we want to go back to and...I think we have to recreate the scene but have to write a 10-15 page essay for one or maybe even both of the projects, but I could really care less, I've already got that planned out in my mind...lulz, EVIL lyrics!!!!

 For English, our final exam consists of making a poster or something for a single word, with many different poems from many different poets on it. Not sure what the word is going to be yet because I have a lot of really cool ideas.

My mom got a book on Korean culture and it has the Korean alphabet and everything in there and I'm freaking out because apparently it's one of the easiest languages to learn in the world, only has twenty four letters, and most of the kids in Korea are completely fluent in it by the time they go to preschool. 

Doesn't sound to bad. But that will be so nice not to have to look up the lyrics to SHINee songs and just know what they are! XD I'm so pathetic...or so obsessed....hmmmmm

Seriously, I worry about when I get my voice back. I'm NOT going to be able to not sing THAT SONG!!!!!!

^^ SHINee why are you destroying my life with your fantabulous music???!

HEY, I SNEEZED AND IT DIDN'T KILL MY THROAT!!!!!

That seems like a weird thing to be excited about, but when you can't even swallow your own saliva without pain, this is a big deal.

I don't know why, but our school library is showing off a book about Sarah Palin. Like, what the ACTUAL FUDGE???

I wonder if I can get my math teacher to listen to SHINee...'cause in the morning I get there early and he always asks me how I'm doing. I should just give him the earbud and my iphone and just walk away. XD It will be on lock, I'm not stupid. I've done this before. XD

Why SHINee, do you have sexy voices too???

Okay, I'm going to go before I just start talking to SHINee more than you guys. 

Love you! 

Bye!

Listen to Evil by SHINee....

Or SHINee in general...........